Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
maybe we all stopped using XD because we stopped being capable of that kind of happiness
"homework" *tired zombie noises*
"studying" *sad zombie noises*
"responsibilities" *disgusted zombie noises*
"internet" *happy zombie noises*
when you’re hungry and you remember there’s leftovers
when you realize someone already ate them